How to Fish Good

I was a sophomore in college in 1972 when my Mom and Dad went on a trip somewhere out near Yellowstone National Park.  They brought me a souvenir — a new little book called “How To Fish Good” by Milford “Stanley” Poltroon, noted writer and publisher of the Wretched Mess News. Trust me, it was worth every penny of $2.95, which is the listed price on the cover of the paperbook book.

Yes, of course, I still have it. You can buy a used copy off the internet, but it cost about $13.95 where I saw it.

It has about 60 short chapters, but none more important than the one on Page 23 — “The Importance of Fish in One’s Diet.”

Since I just ate fish for supper and since I doubt Stanley is still around and there is no cross readership between his book and my blog, I’m stealing the whole writeup to share with you here:

“Ear wax is not really wax at all, but one of the great many misnomers attributable to doctors.  That stuff in your ears is really used-up brain cells, leaking out through your eustachian tubes.  Unfortunately, it cannot be recycled.   This is why fish in your diet are so important.

Everyone knows that fish is brain food.  The replace your output of worn-out brain cells, you should eat at least 10 pounds of codfish or mackerel ( I’m sure bass and crappie work just as well ) every week.  If you are not eating 10 pounds of fish every week, you are probably a lot dumber than you ever look.”

I hope I have conveyed this important information to you in time for it to help you. You’re welcome. Remember:  Eat. Sleep. Fish. But mostly eat fish!