Outdoor wit & wisdom to bring a smile to your day
Little Paul and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Paul proudly dangled it before his mom.
“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”
“It’s not?” Paul asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”
A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money. One night a customer knocks on its door. A monk answers. The customer asks, “Are you the fish friar?”
“No,” he replies. “I’m the chip monk.”
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
The Anglers Dictionary
Point – What everyone does at the ramp when you forget to put the plug in. (sometimes “laugh” goes with point)
Point (2nd definition) – The part of a hook you can’t see when it is imbedded in your finger
Stick up – What happens to you if you are alone after dark at a boat ramp
Finesse Fishing – Talking your wife into letting you go.
Line – What you give your wife when you come back late from fishing.
Backlash – What you get from your wife after you give her your line.
Bed – The place you will not get to sleep if your wife doesn’t believe your line.
Lure – What tackle makers use to get your money.
Tackle Shop – The place where more bass are caught and more deer killed, than any other place on earth.
Crankbait – A lure designed specifically for catching boat carpet, landing nets, and thumbs
Reel – What you wish the last bass you told everybody you caught was
Texas Rig – ’65 Chevy pulling a battered 14 foot LoneStar with a 5 hp Evinrude with two adults and six kids piled in to go catfishin’.
I understand there is someone living on Darbonne by the name of Walter. I’ve been told ffor true that when he was a lad, he had terrible time telling the truth. He lied telling big whoppers and exagerated about every fish he ever caught. Everyone worked with him about these tall tales. His family,
friends, teachers and neighbors all tried to help with no avail…Finally one day his pastor at First Baptist church in Bastrop asked him to join him in his study, with the intent to use some reverse psychology on Walter. The pastor asked Walter if he had heard that a large Arkansas panther had come thru the
front doors of the church last Sunday night. The panter was over 12 feet long from head to tip of it’s tail. He told how the panter looked around as it pranced down the center aisle and reared up at the pulpit as it began to pounce onto mthe preacher. He said it was just then that a little stray dog ran in to the church and jumped up and grabbed the panther by his nose and shook the panther and drug it out of the church! The pastor then looked Walter square in the eyes and said now Walter do you believe that story and Walter said “Oh yes sir, that was my dog”!