If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, “Licensed and ready to go“, please click on it in the column to the right and read it first so this one will make sense. At least it has a chance to make sense.
Despite the many licenses, safety courses, permits and regulations that hunters have to keep up with, most men are pretty laid back about it. I know there are lots of lady hunters, but just for the sake of these writeups, let’s say most hunters are men. We just get what we need, swipe the credit card and go to the woods, man. You know, kinda like the mobsters in New York say, “Fooorgiit abooouuut it.”
But can you imagine if the ladies had to go through this in pursuit of their happiness hobbies like — for instance — shopping.
“Dear, I know shopping season for fall clothes opens tomorrow 30 minutes after daylight. Don’t forget to get your mall parking permit,” I can just hear myself saying.
“And remember to get your shoe store tags and your general merchandise stamp in addition to your basic shopping license in case you want to buy anything. And don’t forget to sign it on the back.”
Shopping licenses? Oh my. Special bonus shopping tags could be issued for downtown and economically challenged areas where exemptions on licenses are allowed. There could also be “green stamps” to encourage environmentally responsible shopping. A special expensive stamp would be required for purchase of items that can not be recycled. A special license might be in order for big discount stores as well. Call it a Sam Stamp. Just because. A portion of the money from these licenses could go to actually keeping more than one checkout line at the big stores open at a time.
Internet and mail-order shopping permits, of course, would require a federal shopping stamp. Many products would be crossing state lines and traveling on Interstate highways, you know.
Here’s the real kicker. Whose gonna ask the ladies to put their age, height and weight and true hair color on their license? No no. Not me.
Just think of the tax (I mean license) revenue the state could raise! No more deficit!
One last thing. What about Black Friday? Surely a Black Friday Shoppers Safety Course is needed. That’s one day that is a lot more dangerous than opening day of deer season!
Sorry, some days I just can’t help it. Have a good day.