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Lake life


I’m a Lord of the Rings fan (and the Hobbit, even though movie lasts longer than waiting for George to set the hook when he feels a bass bite).   The series is classic Good vs. Evil and I guess that’s why I am such a fan. I pull for Good. But every time I watch one of these shows, it bitterly reminds me that demonous creatures inhabit our area lakes just like the Orks did Middle Earth. Okay, if you don’t watch the movies or read the books, I’ve probably almost lost you – but hang in there).

Orks. They are a savage, warlike, grotesque race of warriors that seem to outnumber everything else, even mankind, and they are always hungry. The massive population of Orks is split into hundreds of tiny empires that, in the movies and books, enjoy shedding the blood of the galaxy’s other peoples. They are the slime off a snail’s belly, to put it nicely.

We have our own set of ORKS at Lake D’Arbonne, Claiborne, Caney, Toledo Bend — name any lake. They are everywhere. I call them Lake Orks. The federal government calls them cormorants and protects them because they are, GAG, endangered. Yeah, like mosquitoes and gnats and sparrows and goatweed. Give me a

A school of cormorants pillages the waters of Lake D'Arbonne

A school of Lake Orks (cormorants) pillages the waters of Lake D’Arbonne

break.  They fly around the lake in their own little “empires”, diving up to six feet deep and doing nothing but catching and eating fish all day. I’d estimate there are at least a thousand on D’Arbonne, pillaging their way through schools of shad, shiners, small crappie and anything else that has fins. The only thing more disgusting than watching the Lake Orks plunder our fish is seeing that little shiny sheen on the survace of the water a big school of fully fed Lake Orks leaves behind. Disgusting. Personally, I think that they should all be shot, but that would be a bird hate crime. And it is against the law.

I’ve e-mailed the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service asking why they are still endangered since there seem to be more Lake Orks than one can count. And I’ve ask what useful purpose they serve. I guess the request has been forwarded to Congress for an answer, so I don’t expect any reasonable response. Or maybe they forwarded my request to Morgoth, Sauron or Saruman…

Seriously, cormorants are protected under some 1918 agreement with Canada. Gee, if they like them so much why don’t they put them on their flag instead of that giant maple leaf? The United States perceives the rise of the cormorant population an economic and biological threat, but  Canada views the cormorant’s comeback a biodiversity success story.  I saw close the border. Here’s why:  Adult Lake Orks eat about a half pound to a pound of fish a day. If my estimates of 1,000 are correct, that’s 500 – 1,000 pounds of fish out the lake every day. Makes me want to scream the other word for spillway!

The only things different from movie Orks and Lake Orks is that the lake ones don’t turn on each other. Too bad. And the movie Orks aren’t real. In the movie world, it has been speculated that if all the Orks were to unite, they would undoubtedly crush all opposition.  I don’t know about that, but I do know they do a number on lake fish populations, as referenced above.  And the people in charge of this kind of thing must be off picnicking with the Hobbits or something, because they sure aren’t managing them.

PS  – some day when I’m really riled up about them, I’ll tell you how I really feel.  Feel free to click on the comment button below and let me know what you think about the Lake Orks (But please remember, this is a family channel).


2 thoughts on “Lake ORKS

  1. I really think your 1000 bird estimate is too low. One day last week my wife and I watched about 250 American White Pelicans surrounded by at least 6 to 7 hundred Lake Orks right in front of our house down by the dam. All were happily chowing down on our Bass food. That was just one spot on the Lake too. I’ve wished Death to the Lake Orks since I watched them clean out, what once was a darn good bass lake, in Eastland, Texas back in the mid 80’s. You’ll likely get the same response from the government as if you’d asked for a new rifle issue..

    Posted by Les | January 25, 2013, 12:3610:25 pm
  2. Death to “The Lake Orks” ! ……..I WISH.

    Posted by Bob Mitcham | January 23, 2013, 12:369:45 pm

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