Fish eating tips

No, I’m not talking about how to EAT FISH. I’m talking about what to eat WHEN you are fishing.

Over the years, I’ve developed quite a scientific approach to eating while fishing. You can take the easy approach and eat cheese crackers and drink bottled water on the lake, but that won’t help your chances of catching fish,

Here are my three best tips:

Chicken breasts and cheetos: There is something magical about eating fried chicken breasts and a bag of cheetos (Puffs are best) while bass fishing. It seems that the fish are turned on when they know this is going on in the boat. Perhaps the combination of the cheesy powder with fresh chicken grease on your fingers touching the lure adds a fish attractant much like spitting on your bait. Who knows. But it works.

Vienna buffet: This combination goes back to when I was a young lad, fishing in a 14-foot aluminum johnboat. But it still works better than any of those fish-call gadgets you can order off the Home Shopping Network. You begin with a big chunk of rat cheese (that’s hoop cheese to you city folks). Set it out in the sun for about an hour before you want to eat it so it semi-melts to the squeezy texture of spam and oozes a little of the cheesey oil.  Then peel a fresh garden grown tomato — preferably a Big Boy. Pop open a can of vienna sausage and a sleeve of saltine crackers. Wash it down with a Dr. Pepper 10.  You will begin catching more fish immediately. If you aren’t, who cares? This seems to work best on bream.

And one “Not to do” tip:  Never eat fried fish within 12 hours before you go fishing. This normally applies to afternoon fishing following a fish fry, but can also work against you if you eat a fish biscuit for breakfast. Somehow the fish know. You go out on the lake smelling like fried fish and you won’t get a bite. But if you are forced into this situation, it’s okay. At least if the fish aren’t going to eat good, you know you did…