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Lake life

So God made a cormorant

Forgive me, Paul Harvey

(originator of “So God Made a Farmer”….)

It was the ninth day, and God looked down on the Paradise he had created and said, “I shouldn’t make everything so perfect.  Man needs some challenges to go along with thorns and sour berries and poison ivy”. So God made a Cormorant.

“There are locusts and snakes and skunks and ugly animals, but I made all the birds pretty, like songbirds and soaring eagles, but I need to make one ugly cormorantbird, too”, he said. So God made a cormorant.

“A small group isn’t enough to represent the dark side, so I’ll let them multiply into millions and I’ll make them migrate South every winter and cause people who live on lakes to not like them. I’ll get the bureaucrats who don’t even know what a cormorant is to protect them with silly federal laws that should never have been passed.”  So God made a cormorant.

“I need to make a bird so vile, so ugly and so useless that even the momma birds will only come to their nest at night to feed the babies. I need to make the bird gangly, spastic looking when it tries to fly and give it an ugly yellow face with devilish green eyes and a stinky fish-sticking beak,” he said. So God made a cormorant.

“I need a bird that will test man’s patience, that will dive into schools of all kinds of fish and spear them and gouge them and leave them wounded, even occasionally actually catch one to eat, then call in hundreds more to see if there are more fish. I need a bird that will group up with other migrating birds like pelicans and chase all the little fish, annoy everyone and do absolutely no good on this earth,” he said. So God made a cormorant.

“But then one day, in due time, I will enlighten the Fish & Game folks with wisdom, common sense and the courage to finally abandon old, useless regulations that protect the birds that pillage and plunder waterways, gulp down fish populations and leave nasty roosts from North to South. Then the regulators will stare at each other in wonder and ask, “Why didn’t we do something about these things sooner?”

So God made a cormorant.


Editor’s Note:  Yes, I saw the first duo earlier this week and four today flying across the lake. They’re baaaaackkk….


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