While 30-35 MPH wind gusts made waves on Lake D’Arbonne look like tsunami earlier this week, I was visited by several tSUnaMo.
What’s a tsunamo? It’s like a tsunami, but it involves inhale/exhale action instead of giant rolling tidal wave action. Both can wipe out small villages or large food items in the blink of an eye.
The giant inhale of a tSUnaMO gathering can make a huge platter of fried catfish steaks, crappie filets and whole bream disappear in minutes, along with french fries, hushpuppies, yellow onion, potato salad, banana pudding…and Dr. Pepper 10, a manly diet soda. The destruction seems almost endless. And in case you haven’t guessed, a tSUnaMO involves this weighty group of thinkers el supremo that get together once a year or so and solve the world’s problems. That’s the exhale. The biggest danger from the exhale is injury from excessive hot air. I can assure you that Sumo does NOT stand for Some Underweight Men Outdoors. It’s more like the Princeton dictionary definition of Sumos: “ones who participate in sumo wrestling; large heavy men”.
One of our crew couldn’t make it because he had a Women’s Auxiliary meeting at an area church. I asked no questions. I’m just glad it wasn’t me because I would hate to know my “friends” would talk about me like that in my absence. Actually, we were pretty nice considering the way things usually go. I think it was because we dined on the back porch. Our two biggest trouble makers were sitting on the old church pew where my Grandma used to sit at the Kelly Methodist Church down in Caldwell Parish decades ago. Thanks, Grandma. And the constant lightening and thunder of the day helped out, too.
Oh well. This get-together has been planned for springtime with hopes we could actually catch some fish. But the mini-tsunami on the lake kept the maxi-tsunamos off the lake. Probably Mother Natures way of preserving hundreds, maybe thousands, of fish that we surely would have caught.
As usual for these events, it was a “eat what you catch” deal. Except, as usual, the fish were already caught and seasoned and ready to fry. Hey, I can be a nice guy. EDITOR’s NOTE: I posted a picture of the SUMOs after our December gathering and I figured I’d spare my readers having to look at that again, even though our biggest Arkansas fan showed up in an LSU gold jacket (If you must see it, you can go to the search bar, type in SUMO and you’ll wish you hadn’t….).
I’ve mentioned before that groups like this are part of our culture like hundreds of others that gather at Wally World or the neighborhood small-town pharmacy. We have the solutions to all the world’s problems. But nobody seems to ask us to help. When we do offer our suggestions by email, we notice a lot of drone activity in the neighborhood skies. So we chill and look for something good to eat.
Sumo TC tries to keep the group mentally alert and makes sure we don’t repeat ourselves. Sumo TC keeps the group mentally alert and makes sure we don’t repeat ourselves. He also keeps us sharp by supplying literary food (we like food) for thought like this “thought for the day”:
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
He is a deep thinker. He’s no sumo cum laude, but he’s close. One time he was deep thinking on the end of the pew after lunch and he drifted off into some sort of coma for about 10 minutes. When he awoke, I mean stopped reflecting, he reached over and got another piece of fish. Nobody said anything, but we got it.
I would mention the others, but they all bought me off. So that’s all I have to say about that.