I read this yesterday on a website predicting a late winter this year: “Lately, the uncertain effects of global warming have added another unknown to the mix of science, experience and art that is long-term weather forecasting.”
To me, there is only one “uncertain effect” of global warming. That is I am uncertain as to why so many sane people fell into the hole with Al Gore and his prediction of destruction of the human race due to global warming. I am uncertain why so many scientists jumped in the hole, too, although many of them are now trying to climb out and dust the stupid off their white lab coats. Hey, it was 40 degrees on my back porch yesterday morning, and none of my global was warm. Thank you very much Al, oh great inventor of the internet as well!
But here’s some real science for you (and like they say on the local news…you heard it here FIRST!!!! like that makes it a big whoop or something…):
Lakedarbonnelife.com is predicting an early, cold winter. It’s simple, if you follow the numbers as I have been doing. First, last week I noticed FOUR coots (that’s poul- deau to my cajun friends, water hen for you yanks) swimming along the shore of the lake, apparently scouting for duckweed. Coots like floating duckweed, even though they are not officially ducks. They are, however, the official mascot of the Toledo Mud Hens of minor league baseball, in case you were wondering. Okay, I digress.
There’s more. I walked down to the boat dock to get something and saw some ripples right up under the deck. Out swam ONE big, ugly, stinking cormorant. Cormorants, you might remember, are what I call the Orks of the outdoors. Big ugly, stinking creatures with no useful purpose other than swallow up fish meant for me to catch. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that God gave the cormorants dominion over the fishes. In fact, he gave us dominion over them, but the same government that fell in the hole over global warming apparently sees fit to federally protect these ugly, stinking creatures with no useful purpose. Okay, I digress again. I must confess I often digress when under stress over these type things.
Then came the final sign of an early winter — the TWENTY. Yep. Twenty slow, low flying white pelicans, cruising at landing altitude headed for the cove south of here, looking for a place to forage what the cormorants might leave behind. Normally, when I see a flight of geese, I’ll do my best loud “honking” imitation to get their attention. And if it’s ducks, I might give them a couple of quacks on the old Duck Commander. But Pelicans? I just had to watch helplessly. As far as I know, there is no Pelican call. They just flew by quietly and I watched the same way. A quick google of “Pelican Commander” yielded no useful information about how to call one of the big orange beaked creatures from up north.
But here’s the point. You were hoping for a point, right? These are birds that usually come down for the WINTER. They usually come in November, sometimes in December. They are here in early October this year. The key word — EARLY. As in early winter. It’s official. Get your jackets out. What more proof do you need? An email from Al Gore?