Pet Duck

Some days, it just doesn’t pay to read the newspaper. It can be, as one of my old friends says, “confusitory” (that is a state of wonder mixed in with confusion and a small hint of doubt of whether you should have gotten out of bed this morning or not). But back to the paper. A story recently out of Honolulu led officials to  remind the public that animals aren’t allowed into courthouses after security screeners had to turn away a defendant’s pet duck.

Apparently a man charged with some minor crime reluctantly revealed to guards that his pet was inside his bag when X-ray screeners noticed something was moving inside. Wow. Don’t be surprised if you don’t see Willie going to the West Monroe court to pay a traffic fan in an upcoming episode of Duck Dynasty. Quack. Quack. It brings up a whole list of legal questions, like what is the legal limit for pet ducks per person? Can you have more than two mallard hens? What are legal showing hours for taking ducks out in public? Do you have to remove all lead from your person when handling pet ducks?

Oh, by the way, there was other contraband inside the defendant’s bag: a bottle of beer.

The story didn’t say anything else about it, but you don’t have to be Dick Tracy to figure out the beer was there to keep the duck quiet.  Oh, brother….At least now you better understand the term “confusitory”….